I was quite impressed with the stylists this year at the Oscars. They worked hard for the money! But alas, what kind of site would this be if there wasn’t something for me to complain about. Complaining is what makes the world go ’round. Here’s a look at this year’s worst dressed. Most of these people weren’t let into the actual ceremony either. Just remember that. You kinda have to be an A-lister for this one. They don’t let in any ‘ol Lea Michele to this show.
I get that we need to be more eco-friendly. I recycle. I compost. Hell, I donate my old clothes. The one thing about being star that kind of rocks though? Being able to wear clothes that cost more that some people’s housing. Colin Firth – you shouldn’t have let your wife out wearing something that resembled a clam in an old-spilled part of the ocean. How would you want to slurp that clam post-show looking like that?
Hey Williams’ sisters. How’d you get into the Vanity Fair party? I don’t even know. Thanks for wearing a slip and slide and that tarp me and my friends would play parachute with in third grade.
Lily Collins??? You’re beautiful in your grandmother’s doily. You’re fucking Zac Efron!!??!!! Why didn’t you just wear him to the event??!!! You guys could have left a trail of condoms on the red carpet so everyone would know you’re fucking! Oh wait, he already did that.
Kate Beckinsale – you are the most beautiful woman in the world. You are. You OWN that shit. If there was anyone who could blow that Jolie chick out of the water, it’s you. Why are you trying to camouflage with camouflage? Side cut outs immediately make me think of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. There is no more room for hookers on the red carpet. We finally fumigated the joint and got rid of Paris Hilton.
Oh January Jones, why am I even bothering to mention you. You’re mean to everyone and live in an ice castle to match your soul. The fact that you do that in Southern California is astonishing but let’s not compliment you in the slightest. The extra Christmas ribbon you decided to make into a dress bothers me. That kind of ribbon doesn’t come cheap! Just think of bickering I’m going to get from my mother because my gifts don’t look “presentable.”