Kate Gosselin has abs I could wash stuff on


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Look at Kate Gosselin’s abs. Not the face, but the abs. Sh*t. I want abs like that. All I have to do is have 8 kids and a tummy tuck? Hell yes. She must have the skinny gene anyways cuz tucks only cut away the excess skin. Crap man, sign me up for 20 kids! I don’t need a tight vagina! Hot dog in tunnel? Why not! Actually, it’s not even that that worries me. I like to play tennis sometimes. While I’m standing there waiting for the ball, air goes up my skirt. I’ve had to limit myself to courts that have a lot of flags waving in the wind. My vagina would make the same noise. Well, that or the noise a horse makes. It’s harder to find courts with horse stables near by – I’ve looked. You hear it in your mind? Yeah, that’s my future. Anywhere where there is standing, skirt wearing and wind involved. I guess I can’t wait for the bus anymore on my way to Catholic school, or go commando to my neice’s meet the teacher night. Not that I’ve ever done that or anything.

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