Justin Timberlake turns 31 today and my loins shrivel


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It really seems like there’s been a clusterf*ck of celebrity birthdays lately, no? It continues today with the date of birth of thou Justin Timberlake. I’ve been avidly trying to think about the fact that he’s engaged now. I’ve failed miserably by the way. Why? Could you imagine his wedding? Dear Lord, it would be fantastical!!!! When I merge 2 pretty great words together to make a new word expressing a higher level of greatness, I mean business. Fantastical is not a new word to most but it’s fantastic + magical all in one! I know! I’m expecting a unicorn named Stan to appear at my office door too. We’re supposed to do coffee. He’s late though, as usual.

Anyways, Justin turns 31 today. Yet another former boy bander that makes my loins shrivel when I think about how long ago that was. Please, please, please, please release a new album! The world NEEDS YOU! Think of the children that must listen to Miley Cyrus. Please, make it stop!

(I’m kidding. Stop freaking out)

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